I have one week left of maternity leave before I head back to work. This is the hardest part, honestly - the anticipation of -gasp- leaving my baby!! I know she'll be fine. She'll be home with Daddy! I actually think it's very, very good and healthy for my children to spend so much time with Daddy - it makes it very clear to them that fathers are just as able (and just as responsible) to care for their kids as mothers are. I like to think that maybe our house work and other work juggling sets a good example for our kids, that marriage is a partnership and that raising kids, having a job/career, cooking dinner, and playing at the park are not solely the realm of either Mom or Dad but can be done by both, or shared.
Anyway, stepping off my soapbox. I'm nervous about heading back to work, for no particular reason and for lots of reasons. I've done it before, but that was night shift - and I'll be working days now. I think it will actually make my life hugely better to be working days, but it feels like more time away from the kids (it isn't, actually, if anything it's less because I won't feel like I need to spend every spare second trying to catch up on sleep) and is intimidating in a rather general sense. It's sort of like starting a new job - I know all the people, I know my way around the unit and I know what I'm doing, but it's a matter of getting used to the "flow" of the shift and of the unit, which of course will be different during the day than it is at night.
I'm just feeling a little sad that my leave - and time in general - are going so fast. It seems like every year passes faster than the one before. I know that things just get more and more fun and wonderful with my kids, and I know that I would not be happy as a stay-home mom long-term (I did it and was miserable!), and I know that my children are happy and lucky to be at home with Daddy when I'm at work, and I know that Kid4 will be just fine. She's just SO little, and I think the bottom line is that going back to work means I have to share her more, and I'm not quite ready yet.
