One nice thing about living only a few hours from family is that it's close enough to visit on a regular basis, but far enough that going to visit passes as a vacation for my kids.
This weekend Kid1 and Kid2 are visiting at Grandma's house a few hours away. I dropped them off this morning, and this afternoon I've been hanging out with Kid3 and Kid4. My big kids are convinced they are on vacation this weekend. I'm becoming convinced that I'm on vacation with the Littles this weekend, too! Managing just the two of them has been almost ridiculously easy compared to managing all 4 (which is getting easier but is still pretty challenging!) and I'm honestly feeling just a tiny bit annoyed about it.
When I just had Kid1 and Kid2, it was SO HARD. It was so, so hard! It was hard to entertain the toddler while breastfeeding the baby. It was hard to figure out how to give the toddler a bath when the baby was awake. It was hard to manage a trip to the park. It was hard. And Kid1 was a much easier toddler than Kid3 but I've done all those things today without really even thinking about it, until I sat down and thought to myself "what the heck did I do with all my time when I only had two? This is so easy!" But it wasn't easy, when they were all I had. It was so hard that nursing school felt a little bit like a vacation at times (and if you know a nurse, just ask them how similar nursing school is to a vacation. But don't do it while they're eating because they might choke when they start laughing hysterically at you.)
It's a little unfair that you don't realize how easy it is to have one kid, or two, or three, until you add another one. I'm certain that if Hell were to freeze over and we had another baby, four would suddenly seem so easy - but it's hard enough that just the IDEA of adding one more makes me feel just a little bit nauseated. I wish I'd known how easy it was to only have 2. And I'm realizing that I should try to keep in mind how easy it is to have 4, with a supportive husband, a comfortable home, and a level of confidence in myself as a mom that I definitely didn't have when Kid2 was wee.
But I'm still thankful for my "vacation weekend".
